...or fasten your seatbelts, ladies and gentlemen...it's gonna be a bumpy ride!
(But you know what always comes at the end of a bumpy ride, dontcha??)
(But you know what always comes at the end of a bumpy ride, dontcha??)
Well, neither do I, come to think of it.
My guess is it must be something of a cross between a complete stop or super smooth sailing... and as we all know, life doesn't usually work at a standstill or without bumps and bruises, so I'll settle in to the proverbial journey and keep my eyes, my mind, my heart and my options open.
Five months ago, I set out on this journey into the unknown and exotic Middle East to have an adventure. To do work that I love. To see the this side of the world. My promise to myself was that I would stay a year, see if I liked it, and if I did - stay longer...if not, return home. And it has been an adventure, to say the least. I wouldn't trade it.
And as things go with the "best laid plans" and whatnot, the fulfillment of that year is not to be. If you've read any earlier blogs, you are aware that I live in Gubment Contractland and that, to put it bluntly, "ain't perty." Contracts end early. Promises are made. Then broken. Words are NOT bonds. Words are not even words, they are a means with which to trap, be trapped, cover your ass or to dance and confuse with ambiguosity. People are placated, misled, coerced, bullied, threatened, kept in the dark, asked to do things that cause them to question their own personal integrity.... this list could go on for AGES.
Through all of this, I have managed to remain relatively unscathed and actually be promoted without compromising my ethics or character. And through it all, I have learned some very specific yet simple things...many of which I knew on some level already, but perhaps hadn't had the chance to really challenge or prove or give them a name.
For starters, traveling the world is still a personal goal of mine and is an incredibly enlightening way to explore your personal nature and intestinal fortitude (in more ways than one). Of course, it is culturally mind expanding, awe inspiring, eye opening and sometimes disheartening. It can make you into a staunch activist for humanitarian rights or women's global rights, or animal rights, or environmental conservation and change. It can teach you a fear that you have never had the opportunity to know because you grew up in such a vastly different land that you simply cannot fathom things that go on (or don't go on) in other countries. It can make you thankful. It can make you angry. It can make you feel empowered and it can make you helpless. (There is so much I haven't written about while here because I feel it might be more prudent to write about it when no longer here, when I am out of reach of anyone who may not like what I have to say about these same activism inspiring observations.) Just like everything else, travel is a six headed dragon or a gently flowing river and everything in between.
I'll tell you what this journey has done for me (and mind you, I am not finished). It has taught me, or reminded me really, that the world is a marvelous, beautiful and terrible place.
I have learned how very self reliant I am and can be and that I truly can survive just about anything. Adversity, fear, danger, the great unknown - these do not daunt me. They challenge me...help keep my mind sharp at times and at this point, maybe even bore me a little, as they have become commonplace and I find myself ready to leave. Because it is time.
But the most important thing I have learned on a deep personal, and soul level, is that all the beauty in the world, all the experiences in the world, all the wine in the world, all the sunshine, rainforests, exotic camels, monkeys, rainbows, butterflies, etc...while all truly beautiful and inspirational on their own---they cannot take the place of having someone with whom you are connected to share it all with. To see it with. To discuss and share. To dream of the next adventure with. To gain mutual inspiration and understanding and maybe even disagree about some of it. This is what we are here for.
Even a book, or music...while rich and deeply layered when traveled alone, take on new depth and dimension when shared.
Life really is what you make of it. Location doesn't matter (no disrespect to you realtors out there preaching the virtues of the perfect address). And there are many ways to travel the world.
I have traveled it alone. All my life, I have done this, really. And the thing I have learned after all is that I would like nothing more than to travel with someone. Not just anyone, mind you. Pick your travel partners WISELY. You will see the best and worst in yourself and others depending on your choice.
Travel is in the eye of the beholder too. Travel can be as simple as a trip to the market, a ride in the country, a concert, a basketball game, a run, a fishing trip, a swim, a flight to NYC, a walk down a favorite path...or travel together can simply be four feet resting on the same deck while each reads their book of choice.
Further...travel is a conversation. It is exploration of oneself and another and turning over the dusty machinations of the mind and our motivations, or our beliefs, or patterns of behavior and reaction. Travel is growth. Travel is evolution from your past self to your present self and eventually into your future self. I believe if you do it right, and with the right travel partner, well there's just not much more worthwhile you can ask for in this great big wide world.
There are many ways to travel and I believe you will gain and take different things away from each trip. You may travel alone. You may travel with a group. You may travel for leisure. For business. For education. To find something. To lose something. Or you may travel with another, who speaks your language and is as curious about how your mind ticks as you are about how theirs works. Equal parts fascination and discovery, occasionally mixed with the mundane, of course, but always with the dream of togetherness... I have a dream, of togetherness. I think that will be quite grand. I think I am ready for that maybe for the first time in my life. It is a companion that warms me, this dream.
"The simple lack of "him" is more to me than others' presence." ~Edward Thomas
(slightly modified with a "her" to "him" by me...because, well... I prefer dudes
Whomever he turns out to be, I just hope he brings chocolate sauce and champagne.
No comments:
Post a Comment