Ever since committing to write everyday, well - I have not necessarily gone the creative route I most enjoy. So, as I struggle through this period, the blogs might get REAL boring. I will alert the media and all relevant outlets should I write something of possible merit that feels like something someone might actually like to read.
and if you are reading this - please accept my humblest apologies. I am a work in progress as is my writing... but you might just enjoy some of it...
Today is the anniversary, 15th, of the drowning death of Jeff Buckley - one of the most amazing talents ever to grace the planet. And my personal favorite. I mean, like - COMPLETE favorite. No rivals.
I suppose they don't know if it was accidental or "on purpose", but it doesn't matter as the end result is the same.
Kind of like a break up...or other loss in life. We always want to know the reason. Sometimes we even demand it. But why? The reason doesn't change the outcome. It only serves our arsenal of demons. If we have a reason, then we will attach some value or blame or imagined malice or wrong to it. When the reality of it is, someone opted out. And you know what? That is their right, their choice and their duty to themselves if they are being true to themselves and what is real for them. We don't happen to like it because we weren't ready for them to opt out. And it doesn't serve us. We want a reason. If we get a reason, then we can assign blame - or find a way to label ourselves a victim. Then we become so fully enmeshed in our drama and story that we want to share and recount to everyone.
....and of course our friends LOVE to hear this self serving drivel....(wonder why they suddenly aren't around anymore???)
And after all of this and all of that, the end result is still the same. It's still over. The relationship. The dream. The attachment you had to it. The life. Over. (we'll talk moew about this later - but it is really ok that it is over....great even....you just have to dig on you a little bit more and be cool and good to the world and those in it and you'll realize it.)
Whatever it was that happened and ended and disappointed, devastated, gutted, mystified, stupefied, or changed you... shook you to the core...unravelled you...made you doubt yourself, question your worth, and all that other complete and utter bullshit - I am here to tell you - IT DOES NOT MATTER. It still happened. It is still over. And the reasons, real or imagined or completely invented - do not change the outcome. This is our natural tendency. But I am learning that letting that thought process go...that non-attachment (to wax all buddhist on you) is freeing. Liberating. Peace giving. Powerful. And above all else, actually the truth. Capitalize it if you want. The TRUTH. Haven't we all learned by now that the things other people say and do to us and about us has NOTHING to do with us? It is all about them.
Did you hear me? It is all about THEM. Let it go. Free yourself or as someone wise once said "what other people say about you is none of your business." Right on!
Haven't you noticed? Oh dear me, I hope you have....but haven't you noticed that when YOU are angry, put out, upset, sad, etc with or about another person's actions or words or reactions or lack of action or words really has nothing to do with THEM, but has everything to do with the shit you are bringing to the dance? (not talking about random horrific things that happen like criminal acts or just crazy/dickish/unrelatable people)
Yes? You realize this? Then welcome to some sort of beginning of enlightenment. Embrace it and keep evolving. It is a journey and a worthwhile one.
No? You don't get it or are rebelling from it? Well...think on it awhile...with an open mind...without judgment...pay attention over the coming weeks when you react with thoughts or feelings or universe forbid, words - to someone else's actions or words and I am betting you will understand what I mean. Even when you understand, your mind will rebel with everything it's got. But practice. Stumble, fall, get up again...and keep practicing. It will become way obvious.
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