With only 8 days left on the contract and before I fly away from Ali Baba Land for the last time, I am feeling the need to wax a little gushy and send a note of thanks to Mark Zuckerberg. Yes, I said Mark Zuckerberg.
You see, for months now...since late November, I have been an evening and weekend prisoner of sorts. A la "Rapunzel in the tower", except not a princess, and not that young, and, well - you get the point. Everything was exciting when I arrived. I was given a car and access to just about anything Kuwait had to offer. Then, as news of the pending loss of our contract came, little freedoms and luxuries started going away - the first of which was the car. Then there were warnings and urgings to lay low...stick close to your apartments...don't go out in crowds...don't gather with groups of other Americans (for fear of becoming a target?)...etc.
The routine has been to work 12 hours a day plus commute Sundays through Thursdays and then escape to Dubai or Abu Dhabi on the weekends or just hang out in the proverbial tower and read, watch movies, exercise...and stay connected with the rest of the world. Luckily, I am mostly content with that...but am itching for freedom and to have a little more control of my destiny again. No more Dubai escapes because they collected our passports in early January. Haven't seen it since.
There has been no better way that I have seen to stay connected with the rest of the world than the internet. Especially when I've been very limited geographically and living about 8-9 hours in the future from most of the people I know and love. And through the internet...(thanks Al Gore ;-) ) the information superhighway paved the way for Facebook. Seriously, I don't have any idea how I would have kept my sanity here without it. So, yes, thank you Mark Zuckerberg and friends, for what started as a way to connect with fellow Harvard students and has grown into over 600 million active users worldwide. I'm deeply gratified and beholden to you.
I've been living in two or three timezones since I got here, trying to keep up mentally with what time it is in other places. The Kuwait time zone (AST - Arabia Standard Time)...Eastern Standard for my east coast family and friends and Central Standard, for my group of friends in the midwest, Texas, Arkansas...I also spent a good bit of time mentally in Pacific Standard and Mountain and sometimes even Hawaiian Standard, depending on where I had to call to speak to candidates. As a recruiter, one must call when the candidate is awake.
But, the simple act of being able to log on at any time from the Middle East and see that Holly just had a "kick ass run" or posted a great new pic of my Izzy... or that it was going to be "another great day in the sandhills" for Bryan...or that Sam was surfin'...or that NC State was playing and sadly, still sucks :(...or to see what Rebecca was making for dinner tonight...to see your snow pictures, your Thanksgiving pictures, your Christmas pictures...to know you had a birthday today...to see how pissed off Kate and Norman were at Sarah Palin's latest antics...to learn what was going on in Susannah's mind at the moment...to be shocked at who thinks Glenn Beck is an actual life form...to read your witty anecdotes...to nearly fall off my chair laughing at anything Holli Poole Teubner posts!!! I am going to start a fan page for you, Holli. Tell your friends to get ready! To be able to listen to the music Jake was listening to almost simultaneously since he never seems to sleep. The ability to feel like I am sitting right there with you all at almost any time has kept me connected, kept me grounded, made me realize what is truly important in life, and has been the greatest gift and comfort. And there have been tragically sad times when I have grieved with you for the loss of your children, your parents, your friends. Death, although an unavoidable part of life, still takes the deepest toll on us as the loss of that loved one is irrecoverable. My love and warmest healing thoughts still go out to you each day and night.
I am so sad to think how the countless military men and women and those traveling to distant lands for non-military reasons over the years had to get by with handwritten letters that could be delivered months after they were sent and who could make the occasional phone call once a month or so depending on their mission and where they were in the world. That is likely how they built the camaraderie and brother/sisterhood with each other in ways I may not have built the same while here...although I have managed to make some amazing friends here from all over the world that I know will be part of my lifelong cosmic family that I will stay in touch with. So, really, I have had the best of both worlds. I have said it before and it still holds true, I am a lucky somebody.
Time is different here in the desert. I don't know what it is...the long days, the endless sunshine, the time difference...not sure. But though I have only been here around 8 months, it feels like it has been about 3 years. Maybe Kuwait time is like dog years...? Not sure. But so much has happened in that time.
I came here to have an adventure - and WHAT an adventure I have had! I've worked side by side with beautiful people from India, Pakistan, Egypt, Bangladesh, the Phillipines, Australia, England, Scotland, Germany, Africa, Ukraine, and Poland... I've been to shisha cafes and local souks and spice markets that were lifted right off the pages of some exotic tale from the Arabian Nights...I've lived amongst the Kuwaiti's and witnessed their beauty and their naivete and their harshness and been intrigued by their bedouin habits (good and bad). I've seen and been apalled by racism and misogyny the likes of which I hope I never encounter again anywhere. And with that, I have felt utterly helpless because this quite simply isn't the place to be THAT American and try to take a stand and fight for what you believe in. That will land you squarely in jail and whatever else that might entail without exception. I think my powers for good will be better served elsewhere.
I've seen how people live in a country with seemingly unlimited monetary resources and been amazed at how they are satisfied to have so much and still have no idea how to keep the place clean or how to enforce traffic laws or how to keep their children safe in cars with child seats (or even seatbelts!). I've seen children on dashboards, or in the rear windows climbing all over the place while mommy is talking on the phone and darting in and out of traffic. They all say, "Insha'Allah". If Allah wills. God willing. The explanation for taking no precautions of any kind with safety, security, etc. boils down to Insha'Allah. It boggles the reasonable mind. Vive la cultural difference!
I came here with the remains of a broken heart, and have literally marveled as it healed and grew back stronger and more whole until the memory faded almost completely and sheer relief set in to replace it. I got my groove back...my Micheleness, the me that I always have been but had been really kind of putting on a back burner for YEARS to try to be what someone else wanted. Perish the thought of that ever happening again.
I came with a happy sense of adventure and peace and wonder...and leave with the addition of a renewed sense of self and meaning and wisdom that I would not trade for anything whatsoever. Like I said, I am a lucky somebody.
I have run in the desert. I have seen camels chasing cars because stupid Americans fed them sticky buns. I have seen a girl with a monkey walk into a Starbucks. I have run along the coast of the Persian Gulf. Completely and utterly sublime. I have spent months in temps above 125 degrees F... and had the most marvelous view one could ask for right outside my bedroom window every single day. I have witnessed moonrises and sunrises the likes of which I have NEVER seen anywhere. I will miss those the most. And the air here..it smells like warm, spicy, sugar. Enchanting. Unless you are near one of the sewage areas. Then it takes your breath away in the most unappealing fashion.
The most amazing experiences have been with the people. The people here. Unforgettable. And the people out there. You. My friends and family from around the globe across timezones. You have inspired me. You've given me new books to read...movies to watch...ideas to ponder...new music to add to my life soundtrack...sent me care packages, birthday wishes, light and love, laughs - lots and lots of laughs...you've managed to make me feel missed and loved and hugged from across an ocean and a continent or two. Admissions of high school crushes, a marriage proposal (don't worry, I'm not holding you to that!), political and philosophical arguments, offers for dates and drinks and friendships and a beautiful fantasy or two.
I've even managed to fall a bit for one of you. Something I didn't even know I could still do. Sometimes it is all in the timing. . Ah, well, c'est la vie - no matter either way. It was lovely for a while and I will take it with me and always smile and always remember the way it felt and the way you made me feel. Beautiful. Desired. Understood. Interesting. Alive. If ever our paths cross again, I shall be nothing short of delighted. You awakened something I thought long dead, Professor. I love you for free.
I leave Kuwait with beautiful memories, the adventure of a lifetime, with peace and love and stillness in my soul. I leave with gratitude for the experience and with a powerful feeling of contentment for the present moment. The next adventure is just around the corner, and I'm ready and open for it. Come along with, if your spirit wills it.
Ma'salaama, my friends. Shukran.
Soul spelunker...life coach in training...a woman in love with the whole wide world .
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