there is much to say...much to share...much to process...much to be joyful about...much to cry about...much to wish for, hope for, long for...but we all know where that gets us, right? mm hmm I've embarked on a new Life Coach Course with Martha Beck and am so completely immersed and inundated with studies and practice and homework whilst still trying to keep up with my yoga practice and meditation ....that it leaves my mind damn near flatlined most nights.
At the same time, I am renewed and energized and, if you can keep a secret...just dying to have someone to share this stuff with. And, that is the beauty of it...there are so many to share it with,who want to know what's going on and what it is all about.
Yes, I still long for that person that fits the exact manifestation that I have requested from the universe...As my beautiful friend Sue taught me...ask the universe for the "perfect man for me"...not the perfect man...not someone who is this tall, with this color eyes and hair, who drives this car and makes this much money etc..Just the perfect man for me. I asked for this man last summer and I think I forgot to mention "who also happens to be available and capable of embarking on a journey with me." Not that I am looking a gift horse in the mouth. She certainly delivered, my friend the universe...and the journey was life changing, otherworldly and astounding...and in the end - sadly and potentially imaginary. Fantasy fodder filler for the fella. And the stuff that dreams are made of for me. Luckily - I'm fantastically resilient and quite in the know about the whole "impermanence" thing that is reality and can deal. It still sucks. It still hurts. It is an existential loss. And a gain in that way, in that I have truly been able to maintain truth within and to myself...and no shit, love for free....without expectations...and though the loss feels profound, it doesn't really feel like a loss. Perhaps because it 'twas never mine to lose...or perhaps because we cannot ever lose anything that is real. And so it goes.
Ah well, whatever happens next will be interesting. Life never disappoints me and always surpasses my imagination and visions...so, I sit here in my little zen bedroom in the Middle East overlooking the night sky and cityscape of Abu Dhabi with my chili pepper light on the ceiling....and am filled with wonder, hope, excitement, anticipation, for whatever is next....ready with a warm hug, a passionate kiss, and endless hours of dissolving into whateverness.
Namaste and shit...(I am really sleepy)
Break on through...
love, just love...
see you on the other side...in the dream space...
and the lotus will arise from the mud....(is, has and will continue to...)
No comments:
Post a Comment